Dear America (Yes that includes you Trump voters)

Dear America (yes that includes you Trump voters)

I spent time in a writing group in one of the most liberal cities in our country recently with so many on the very far left and a similar theme I am seeing elsewhere emerged- namely the need to remember we are all human - that voting for trump doesn't make you a racist or sexist or a bigot, and in many cases might be a protest vote for the way things are- that there is probably plenty of common ground amongst us. 

For those reading this who have been subjected to lifetimes of hatred and torture in the form of racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, biases against your religious beliefs or politics, etc... Please know I don't mean to diminish in any way your outrage at what is justifiably outrageous. I get why people feel a vote for Trump ignored and dismissed their importance / right to safety and dignity- I also understand why so many voting their own conscious felt they needed to vote for him (or rather I'm understanding this more and more). Furthermore, I am becoming acutely aware of the places I have been comfortably resting in my privilege and will work to stand more powerfully with you as an engaged citizen and activist. 

I simply ask everyone who reads this to:

1) remember we are human and

2) please recognize that people are very, very scared for their lives (and children and students and family and friend's lives) because they are in many cases being directly threatened and harassed - with people citing Trump as justification for their hate. 

Before anyone says this is buying into fear and overreacting please know that I have way more stories in just my immediate community where violence has been directly threatened against them since Tuesday night- way too many and those are just my family and friends (not from the stories read in the media that no one trusts). And these are usually directed at groups that have long been the victims of targeted violent attacks that already worry for their safety for good reason. 

Again to be very clear in an atmosphere of major misunderstanding... I am not at all saying being for Trump means you do or support these things. What I am saying in the things Trump said during the campaign seem to have created a platform where people who do believe in hatred of women and gender non-conforming people, people of color, immigrants, Muslims, people with disabilities, lgbtqai people, liberals in general now feel justified in attacking these groups outright and we need ALL of us to stand up to that hate. As we also need to stand up to the hate directed at people for who they voted for. 

I don't believe your vote for any candidate makes you a good or bad human- you exist in a context and as an anthropologist I work to understand that context. I do believe we ALL carry responsibility for our divided country and ALL have a responsibility to stand up to hate. There are lots of policy fights and fights for civil and human rights ahead I know, but here I just address one aspect of this complex shit storm we are now all engaged in... 

I am pretty sure our digital age isn't helping with how much we dehumanize each other... So maybe I can make it a little more human if you happen to be someone who currently hates those who voted for Hillary: 

I'm a pretty likable human (I hope), I have a good heart, care very much for those around me and want to do good in the world-

the words of hate against gays are against me-

mocking of people with disabilities against me-

misogyny against me-

calls to kill liberals - yup that's me too. 

And the groups I don't identify with that are targeted - those are my students, my friends, my teachers, my family, my heroes, and my fellow citizens. The hate targeted at Trump voters- ya that's directed at my people too- family members and friends I love dearly. 

Also please know that so many of us are experiencing a feeling of outrage and violation as someone who openly discussed harming women is now being put in our highest office - if you think that is just us whining please have more conversations with survivors of sexual assault and rape and please listen to them- they will tell you how these violations stay with a person long after the events of abuse (I might add these are the people who are all too familiar with being told they are making it all up and are overreacting). 

I am standing up against hate, dehumanization, and violence directed at all of us. It is not okay that since this election hate had been unleashed on so many. 

The group with arguably one of the biggest reason to hate all of us Americans, many of them are currently camped out in the cold in North Dakota at Standing Rock, calling for prayers and peace to protect our environment. Native American groups are actively leading prays for the police forces, the pipeline company, and all in our society as they try to stand up for what they know to be right. 

Imagine if we all stand up with as much power, respect, and love. Whether we agree or not on what we stand up for, I think that love and respect for each other could be the revolution we all want. 

I hope you can hear me on the other side from my very liberal city and my very gay, feminist self! I love you my country, I am grateful for voices and views that are different from my own because they challenge me to think critically, and I hope we can agree our country is better than these hateful attacks from either side.

Veterans Day Reflections

Please read this from my heart to yours on Veterans Day!

Happy Veterans Day and my deepest gratitude to all of the people and their families who have served our country.  As always the heroes at the very top of my list are the Vietnam veterans- particularly the Dust Off pilots and medics. They never ignored a call, never abandoned a mission. They flew into the depths of war, over and over and over again, to save life after life. They risked their own lives more times than any of us can imagine SO OTHERS MIGHT LIVE. These heroes were harassed, spit on, ignored, attacked, and horrifically disrespected by a nation divided over politics. Here our history stands as a powerful reminder- whatever our political views might be I hope we can respect and honor the heroes, continue to see each other as human, and to stand together in the face of hate.

While hate and politics have created great divisions, perhaps respect and gratitude can bridge a gap today as we all reflect on the service of our veterans. They have helped to uphold the ideals of our country-  particularly our freedoms- where we can stand and declare out loud whatever it is we believe in. Where we can speak out when we don't agree with decisions and policies of our government- where we can actively work to create a society we want to live in. Please continue to work to keep these ideals- even when you disagree with the beliefs or views of others.

So many have already begun the journey across the aisles that have divided us- while I must stand with all of my power and force against the hate that is spreading I absolutely stand with you my fellow citizens committed to making this country and our world a safer, more equitable society.

Thank you to our heroes who answered their call of duty to their country. And an enormous debt and respect is owed to the service people who served this country even when their country hasn't always upheld their rights- Native Americans, African Americans, women, LGBTQ people.

We can all continue to work to make sure we take care of our veterans after what they have sacrificed for our country. We need to step up for them as they have for us.

A special thank you to all the veterans in my life- you inspire me!!!

Happy Veterans Day! I am forever proud to be the daughter of Flatbush- a truly amazing leader who decades ago learned how to fly the hell out of a helicopter so that other might live! I love you dad and will always work to make you proud.

Recognize our humanity in each other

After the initial shock that we could allow such hatred to flourish, I have had great faith restored by the beautiful and most important people in my life tonight. I have watched us comfort and console, challenge and support each other in raw, difficult, and real ways.

Here's what I know- we all recognize change is needed- we all believe we can do better- as a country, as a world, but also as individual humans. So let's do that- let's do better. "When they go low, we go high"... And not just high cause pot is legal in more places but high where we continue to stand proudly in who we are, where we continue to use all of our voices in the name of good. Where we protect and honor each other more - because clearly we have already too often failed at that.

So stand for what you believe in, stand for justice, stand for hope, and equality.

If you wanted to completely flip American politics- congratulations you have succeeded- so now what will you do?

Now what will we as a county stand for? Will we really continue to decide our government should have a say in our bodies (I thought that small government idea was a thing- so why are there laws about my body)?
Will we really allow people to starve in front of our eyes?
Will we return to when our elders were left with even less than they have now? Will we take away healthcare from the most vulnerable?
Will we really take away the rights of loving couples to be married?
Do we sleep well at night turning away immigrants who pursue the American Dream?
Are we really okay with so many young black kids being killed?
Are we really okay with corporations as people?
Or that so many of our civil liberties are not being supported or upheld?
What will we stand for as a country?

Or as my internal optimist cling to the little shreds of hope- might we start to unravel the complexities of social issues and economic decisions we have tied together as if they are the same thing, might we begin to see how interdependent we truly are, might the insanity of how divided our nation has become allow us to unify around the central tenants for which we all stand?

If I let this election silence me, then I have surely weakened the causes I most believe in. If I let this election enliven the passion and commitment of my values, and so do you, then maybe we can be one step closer to a better world.
 Trumps's messages have been against everything I believe in- against diversity on all levels, bigoted, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, ableism bullshit - that is exactly what I as an anthropologist and a human reject. But maybe we can prove ourselves far better than that hate. Maybe when given the potential to destroy so many lives, maybe we can all decide on some basic decency and respect that we could share in common. My greatest hope is that we can recognize the humanity in each other once again- that's my mission as an anthropologist- that's why I teach. I want us to recognize our humanity in each other.

We have the power to do that- no government can take that from us or decide that for us. We the people create the world in which we want to live. So whoever is in office- maybe we can all search our hearts for compassion and maybe that can help unite us.

All I really know is that the people in my life are amazing- they are beautiful, intelligent, inspiring humans who are unbelievable forces of good in this world. I can sleep now- thinking of all of you out there working for a better world.

Pantsuit Nation Rising- November 8, 2016

PANTSUIT NATION RISING: (Nov 8, 2016)
The sun rises over Mt. Rainer as election day has finally arrived. So much rhetoric, propaganda, hate speech- far too many triggering lines shouted as victims relive horrible nightmares. Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism given free reign - hate allowed to feaster and stew finally bubbling to the surface as we face a day for the first time in our history we have the power to elect a woman to the highest office in our land. 

The hatred and fear mongering has done its job- to scare and divide but an even more powerful force has risen in opposition- a nation of pantsuits!

Forums and places where people of all genders, races, backgrounds come together to not only cheer each other on and work to elect their candidate but to support, validate, and encourage one another. Their stories pour out over social media- 

A woman who lost her baby late in pregnancy kicked out of a hospital (a place supposed to protect and help her) and told to go to an abortion clinic where she must endure a FORCED ultra sound of the child she knows is already gone- prolonging a nightmare so painful there are not word to describe it. The pantsuits respond faster than the internet can sustain- "I'm so sorry for your loss", "we love you", "we are with you", "me too". The words of pantsuits all over the country rapidly filling page after page of support. 

Brave women sharing stories we know are far too common but as a society we have shamed into silence so that we might maintain our own comfort. Stories of abuse, of rape, of sexual assault- People courageously finding a cause worth breaking decades of silence for, worth typing words many have never been able to say out loud before. The pantsuit nation responses in thousands of voices "you are not alone", "we are here", "us too!"

Racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism apparently a campaign platform now - but voices emphatically declaring in response a refusal to let others define our own worth- supporting each other as a pantsuit nation rises to the call of justice, of decency, of the ideals for which this country was founded. 

Parents of children mocked in hatred for their differently abled minds and bodies- here demanding better of our country- calling on us all for more inclusion and compassion. And the pantsuit nation responds. 

Beautiful story after story erupt from this pantsuit nation - so many there are almost one hundred still waiting to post. Dying of cancer but determined to leave a mark on the world with their vote; in love with a partner some have told them they don't deserve to marry; children, parents, grandparents uniting together for a cause they believe in; women in labor refusing to bring their babies into this world until their vote is cast; stickers placed on the graves of suffragettes who risked everything so the women of this country could today have a say in their own democracy. 

A pantsuit nation rises- adorned in white in the name of brave women who have come before us, standing in power of a unity that transcends so many important social movements, supporting and uplifting each other in standing in our own power and combatting the hate that has always been there but now has been given a platform. The power of community demonstrated person after person as we declare each in our own ways, in our own voices that we matter, that we deserve respect and love and equality under the law, that our earth is worth fighting for. 

There is so much work to be done ahead- water protectors currently camped on the cold front lines of the fight demonstrating day after day the power of non-violent resistance, of doing what is right, of love in the face of hate. There is hatred and ignorance to combat, patriarchal oppressive systems to dismantle and change, humility and respect required for an environment we have treated as horribly as each other- so much work to do ahead. 

But as I watch the sunrise today, I have renewed faith. I adore my neck in the pearls of my great grandmother- who lived most of her life not being allowed to participate in this democracy, the ring of grandmother who was born two months after women gained the right to vote in the US, my white shirt honoring suffragettes and all who have stood in the face of great darkness to demand our country better uphold our ideals of equal rights for all, and of course my pantsuit. 

Watch this pantsuit nation rise! #imwithher #pantsuitnation #womenwithher #vote #pantsuitnationrising